Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Four
Written by	Tara Gilesbie and Raven
Preceded by	Chapter Thirty-Three
Followed by	Chapter Thirty-Five
Story text	Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four is the thirty-fourth chapter of My Immortal.

Author's note

AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 hav u even red de story!11 u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so F*K U!111 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1

Plot

Enoby wakes up to find Draco has gone. She gets dressed. Sodomize arrives and quickly persuades the reluctant Enoby to come to Profesor Sinistor's office instead of having more casual sex and listening to more music.

As they walk, he explains that Snipe and Loopin are now in Abkhazian, and Draco and Vampira are watching Das niteMARE b4 xmas.

Enoby arrives at Sinister's office - instead of giving us a detailed description of Sinister's dress, Tara unsuccessfully attempts to link to a picture of it. Enoby jumps into the Prinsive again and finds herself eating breakfast in the crowded Grate Hall in the past. She's sitting next to Tom Satan Bombodil, while Professor Slutborn is standing on a nearby table. No one seems to have noticed anything odd about her appearing from thin air.

Satan invites her out on a date to see "The Exercise at da movies" followed by a "Marylin Mason contort" in Hogsemade that evening.

Inconsistencies and divergences from canon

• Due to his prejudice against muggles, Draco Malfoy likely wouldn't watch movies produced by them.
• Professor Slughorn, presumably who "Slutborn" is based on, was not tall or long-haired, even in the books.
• Despite previously telling her the village was "Hogsment" until 2000, Satan calls it "Hogsemade".
• Once again, Hogsmeade is a wizarding town, and does not have either a concert venue nor a movie theater.

Notable quotes

• I had wanted to f*k Draco or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. I came anyway.
• “Dey are xcused form skool 2day.” Sodomize moaned sexily.
• On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson.
• “Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?”