He must have tried to read My Immortal.

A headache is a condition wherein the sufferer develops an uncontrollable compulsion to YELL EXPLETIVES VERY LOUDLY. If you or someone you know has a headache, be sure to stay away from teenage vampires making out , as the combination of rage and the predisposition for yelling may make the vampires cry tears of blood.

"AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reason Dumbledeor swore is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil i get five good revoiws."
Tara Gilesbie

A form of this condition may be developed by reading bad fanfiction, such as My Immortal. A milder form may be developed by reading descriptions of the same bad fanfiction. If there is a reason why either must be done, it is recommended that ibuprofen or aspirin be kept near the reader's computer, in case of emergency.

Other effects of this condition may include: insanity, destructive impulses, insomnia, and a strong desire for Brain Bleach.