Snap and Loopin are Voldemort's main Death Deelers. They help Voldemort in his evil plan to kill Vampire Potter. Snap and Loopin's plan seems to be recording a videotape of Ebony taking a bath and use it to blackmail Ebony into killing Vampire.

If she refuses, they will spread the tape through the school. They are also gay lovers who enjoy "doin it" in the open. The two seem to be treated as one person, since if one of them is accused of a crime, the other will also get punished for it, despite not actually having done anything.

They are probably based on Severus Snape and Remus Lupin, but they do not resemble the canon characters in any way.

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"Well xcuse me! Wat was dat all about!?"


Snap seems to be the more competent of the duo and the leader. He is the one who comes up with most of their plans. In one of the author's notes, it is stated Snap is a Christian, and has been moved to Griffindoor. This is only used as an excuse to have him on the dark side (since the good guys are Satanists and Slytherins) and this fact is not mentioned again after Chapter 20.

In his first appearance Snap was just a strict teacher going by the name Professor Snape. It's implied that he teaches Potions class, like in the original, as in Chapter 36, when Ebory and her friends go sexily to Potions class, "Snap wasn't there," replaced by Cornelia Fuck. Snap was also one of the 3 teachers, the others being McGoogle and Dumblydore, to yell at Ebony and Draco "4 having sexx". He later calls Ebony a 'ridiculous dimwit' for storming into his class, and barely reacts to Draco barging into his classroom naked.

In his next appearance, Snap shows his true colours by filming Enoby taking a bath, but is scared away by Hargrid, who reveals he is a Satanist. Later, he kidnaps Draco, Ebony and Vampire under the guise of a detention. He then almost succeeded in making Ebony kill Vampire, but was stopped by 'Serverus' (probably Serious Blak), Professor Trevolry and Lucian. After being caught, Snap, along with Loopin is tortured and sent to Azerbaijan for his crimes. But after escaping from Azerbaijan with the help of Britney, Snap rapes Draco and steals Draco's flying car. During the final battle, Snap drives the car into the Great Hall, flies around in circles, and teams up with Loopin and Voldemort to kill Ebony. His fate is left ambiguous as the story abruptly stopped.

When Ebony travels back in time, Snap is revealed to have been in a band with Tom Satan Bombodil/Voldemort, James Samaro Potter, Serious Blak and Lucian Malfoy. But he betrayed them by possessing James, though the fic states that he possessed himself, and causing James to shoot off Lucian's arm with his knife.

Snap also appears to have a certain degree of invulnerability, because during his first appearance as a villain, Ebony shot him (with a gun) a gazillion times, but this did not seem to have hurt him at all. He also survived multiple torture sessions without any consequences.


Another one of Snap's abilities is the power to possess other people and make them do what he wants. This is explicitly stated by James Samoro Potter when he explains to Ebony why he wanted to shoot off Lucian's arm. It is possible Snap also possessed Professor McGonnagall in chapter 29, as she helped Snap with his activities as a Death Deeler, despite being against the Death Deelers.


Loopin is more of a follower of Snap and participates in most of his plans. He is very rarely seen without the presence of Snap. Loopin has a strange fascination of chewing on stuff, since his first appearance states that he masticated to the videotape Snap took of Ebony in the bath. He taught Advanced Biology at Hogwarts School.

In Chapter 16, he is described as a "necphilak", which is the reason he did it with Willow's corpse. He also apparently resurrected her, since she appears alive one chapter later. Loopin also has a streak of horrible luck, because in each appearance, he is either verbally abused or tortured by Ebony and her friends. This does not seem to stop him from serving Voldemort.


Loopin, like Snap, also appears to have a certain degree of invulnerability, because during his first appearance, Ebony also shot him a gazillion times, but this did not seem to hurt him at all. He also survived multiple torture sessions without any consequences.


  • "This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."
  • Loopin held up the camera triumphelephantly.
  • "No, actshelly ( geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns." he growld angrily.
  •  "Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily.

Difference from the original

Its easier to list the similarities to the original characters, because there are practically none.

Compared to his counterpart Snape, Snap seems to be much more of a stereotypical villain. It is quite clear on which side he is from the start, while the real character's allegiance is ambiguous through the entire series, only to be revealed at the end of the last book. Snap is also obsessed with having sex with Draco, since he attempted it once and succeeded in raping Draco near the end of the fic. Also, Snap appears to be friends with James/Samoro in the past, being in the same band, when in actuality the two of them despised each other.

Loopin, when compared to Lupin, is a complete idiot. There is no mention about his "hairy problem" throughout the whole fic. He is also a follower of Voldemort, while the real character hates the mere mention of the Dark Lord. Another difference is that Loopin loves Snap, and vice versa, while the real characters, Snape in particular, dislike one another. Lupin also taught Defence Against the Dark Arts in the third book (Prisoner of Azkaban) for only that school year, while Loopin appears to teach 'Advanced Biology', which looks more like a bizarre Transfiguration lesson.


In Chapter 41, Tara declares in the author's note that in the final book (Deathly Hallows) it will be revealed Voldemort and Snape are the same person, as they are both half-blood and will explain why Snape hates Harry. This may be why she turned Snape into such an obvious villain. This, however, is impossible to be reconciled with the fact that he and Voldermort appear together in the very last chapter.

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